Health

Wrestlelution IV Review – From J-Hawk’s Beak

I’m back! Well, not that I really went away since I’m Pro Wrestling Weekend virtually every week, but this is the first time I’ve written a legitimate review in close to six years. I will have to go back through some of the stuff I used to write on another site that will remain nameless (mostly because it resembles […]
Hollywood Life

Voted Off The Island | Justin Bieber

Do we really need to say more? He looks like your penis- with a wig. He’s every snot nosed, rich kid you wanted to beat up in high school for no other reason than he just… deserved to be pummeled. Usually these types grow up to be cops. But back in them days they didn’t really have YouTube, or big time Hollywood brass types scouting Internet […]
Hollywood Life

Voted Off The Island | Zak Bagans

In your mind, Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Ashton Kutcher wish they were you. The Hiltons, The Kardashians, hell, even The Beatles all wish they could party with you. As you so placidly pose for every camera shot, we understand the trauma that comes with the territory of being so damn good lookin’. We empathize with you, for all the […]
Health

Voted Off The Island: Bieber – Bagans – Fieri | Smartasses Magazine

We’re not sure how this Frosted Mini Wheat with sunglasses and overdone jewelry rose to anything close to the amount of fame that he has, but frankly, we’re too embarrassed that he hails from Smartasses Magazine’s hometown of Columbus, Ohio to care. If we Columbusites are going to be looked upon as ass-clowns, let us at least be cast as such for something valid… […]
Models

Who Should Play Wonder Woman?

After the rebirth of old TV Shows like The Bionic Woman, Hawaii 5-0 and Battlestar Gallactica, many of you have been clamoring for a rebirth of Wonder Woman. You clamored even more when you heard it was on the table. Well, finally, it appears that the project is going to happen. It was just announced that NBC has decided […]
Sports

WWE Drops The Ball – Ask Your RoleModel

Okay, I’ve been quiet long enough, and seriously, I don’t give a damn who I offend with this, or what writers I may anger… WWE, your product sucks! You literally have to be either 14 and under, or a complete idiot to enjoy that visual diarrhea you call “sports entertainment”. Going into the 2013 Royal Rumble, it […]

Voted Off The Island | Zak Bagans

In your mind, Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Ashton Kutcher wish they were you. The Hiltons, The Kardashians, hell, even The Beatles all wish they could party with you. As you so placidly pose for every camera shot, we understand the trauma that comes with the territory of being so damn good lookin’. We empathize with you, for all the hours spent in your childhood suburban basement, doing curls and bench presses with your JCPenney dumbbell set, so strategically placed under the watchful eye of Leif Garrett’s knowing smirk on that Tiger Beat magazine

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Voted Off The Island: Bieber – Bagans – Fieri | Smartasses Magazine

We’re not sure how this Frosted Mini Wheat with sunglasses and overdone jewelry rose to anything close to the amount of fame that he has, but frankly, we’re too embarrassed that he hails from Smartasses Magazine’s hometown of Columbus, Ohio to care. If we Columbusites are going to be looked upon as ass-clowns, let us at least be cast as such for something valid… like being the worst behaved football fans in America- not for frosting our hair, conspicuously omitting the letter ‘G’ from the end of every word, and coming up with ‘recipes’

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Featured

Wrestlelution IV Review – From J-Hawk’s Beak

I’m back! Well, not that I really went away since I’m Pro Wrestling Weekend virtually every week, but this is the first time I’ve written a legitimate review in close to six years. I will have to go back through some of the stuff I used to write on another site that will remain nameless (mostly because it resembles a ghost town right now) and try to archive it here.  But first, some original material. Normally I make the hour or so drive to Cleveland for Pro Wrestling Ohio’s

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Voted Off The Island: Bieber – Bagans – Fieri | Smartasses Magazine

We’re not sure how this Frosted Mini Wheat with sunglasses and overdone jewelry rose to anything close to the amount of fame that he has, but frankly, we’re too embarrassed that he hails from Smartasses Magazine’s hometown of Columbus, Ohio to care. If we Columbusites are going to be looked upon as ass-clowns, let us at least be cast as such for something valid… like being the worst behaved football fans in America- not for frosting our hair, conspicuously omitting the letter ‘G’ from the end of every word, and coming up with ‘recipes’ that Mrs. Davidson’s fourth grade class could have concocted. Who really wants this putz cooking your food anyway? It’s bad enough that we have to put up with his incessant “Dude-At-A-Party-Who-Brought-The-Ganja” ad-nauseum chuckling, but did you happen to catch him on the Super Bowl XLV Pre-game, grabbing Nabisco’s with neither tongs nor gloves, as if his chubby little life depended on it? For anyone who’s ever been a restaurant manager, we don’t need to tell you that this sort of behavior alone, not to mention all of that nasty health-code-violating silver on his hands, would have been enough to send anybody back to culinary boot camp. I think it’s pretty logical to expect better from a TV Chef. Let us also consider the notion that our Minute to Win It game show host, chooses… yes, cognizantly chooses to call himself “Guido”.

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Who Should Play Wonder Woman?

After the rebirth of old TV Shows like The Bionic Woman, Hawaii 5-0 and Battlestar Gallactica, many of you have been clamoring for a rebirth of Wonder Woman. You clamored even more when you heard it was on the table. Well, finally, it appears that the project is going to happen. It was just announced that NBC has decided to give the show a go. The project is being touted as a reinvention (Yikes, that is almost never good) of the Amazon Princess, where Wonder Woman, also known as Diana Prince, is a ‘vigilante crime fighter in Los Angeles, but also a successful corporate executive and a modern woman trying to balance all of the elements of her extraordinary life.’ Oh Lord. I can hear the plot lines now. Steve Trevor didn’t call. Wonder Girl has a pimple. The cigar smoking boys at the office want to keep Diana under the proverbial glass ceiling. Nordstroms doesn’t carry a red hand bag with a white stripe to match her dubya-dubya boots. Hooey. At any rate, we here at Smartasses are all in a ‘wonder’ as to who should play her part. If it had been twenty years ago, our defacto choice would have been Marina Sirtis of STNG Fame. She had the hair, the Greek look, and a softness about her that just would have clicked. To us,

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Wrestlelution IV Review – From J-Hawk’s Beak

I’m back! Well, not that I really went away since I’m Pro Wrestling Weekend virtually every week, but this is the first time I’ve written a legitimate review in close to six years. I will have to go back through some of the stuff I used to write on another site that will remain nameless (mostly because it resembles a ghost town right now) and try to archive it here.  But first, some original material. Normally I make the hour or so drive to Cleveland for Pro Wrestling Ohio’s annual Wrestlelution event.  This year I couldn’t make the trip, but thanks to gofightlive.tv, Wrestlelution 4:  Overdrive became PWO’s first internet pay-per-view broadcast.  So, thirty bucks for a front row ticket, twenty bucks for gas, six bucks for parking, plus food and drink?  Or fifteen bucks to stay home and eat food I’d already bought.  I probably still would have preferred the former, but the latter ends up being a good deal. Let’s review the show. After the national anthem, we’re treated to a fantastic opening video package highlighting the key workers of the show.  That is followed by a band called Groove Pipe playing one of the Wrestlelution theme songs.  Eh, it’s time killer. Normally I’d try to push the backstories of these matches, but honestly, we previewed the entire show for over an hour on July

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gallery

Featured

Wrestlelution IV Review – From J-Hawk’s Beak

I’m back! Well, not that I really went away since I’m Pro Wrestling Weekend virtually every week, but this is the first time I’ve written a legitimate review in close to six years. I will have to go back through some of the stuff I used to write on another site that will remain nameless (mostly because it resembles a ghost town right now) and try to archive it here.  But first, some original material. Normally I make the hour or so drive to Cleveland for Pro Wrestling Ohio’s annual Wrestlelution event.  This year I couldn’t make the trip, but thanks to gofightlive.tv, Wrestlelution 4:  Overdrive became PWO’s first internet pay-per-view broadcast.  So, thirty bucks for a front row ticket, twenty bucks for gas, six bucks for parking, plus

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